“Through Jeff and Matt’s wise, loving, and playful guidance each week, I have been learning to come home to myself, moment by moment…”
DISCOVERING THE BEAUTY
IN THE WOUNDED AND BROKEN PLACES
with Jeff Foster and Matt Licata
A Supportive Monthly Membership Program
– featuring teachings, meditations, Q&A and conversations –
with a Spiritual Teacher and a Psychotherapist.
A Supportive Monthly Membership Program – featuring teachings, meditations, Q&A and conversations – with a Spiritual Teacher and a Psychotherapist.
OUR NEXT LIVE SESSION IS OCTOBER 10th…
A Personal Invitation from Jeff Foster and Matt Licata
Has your life become an endless “Self-Improvement Project?”
After years of self-help, therapy, spiritual seeking, meditation, trying to “silence your mind”, “lose your ego” or even become “enlightened”, do you still feel far from where you hoped you would be?
On your journey of healing, have you encountered uncomfortable, unexpected, or scary feelings within yourself – shame, grief, anger, sorrow, hopelessness, despair, emptiness, groundlessness – and you’re not sure where to turn?
Do you long to stop running and end the struggle with life? Do you yearn to slow down, come out of repetitive and exhausting thinking, and rest deeply in the arms of the present moment?
Then you are not alone.
After meeting tens of thousands of you all over the world at retreats and in private sessions – and after over a decade of sharing our experiences, writing, and discoveries in books and social media – we are excited to finally be able to offer you an online experience of the teachings that quite literally saved our lives, from the comfort of your own home.
Weaving together the wisdom of the meditative and non-dual traditions and the emotionally-attuned, contemporary approaches of depth psychology, we invite you to join us for…
• TWO Inspiring, provocative and supportive teaching videos each month on topics such as self-compassion, the true meaning of “healing” and being in the Now, building confidence in meeting our painful, shadowy, abandoned parts “moment by moment”, the power of true meditation, the various myths of “spiritual enlightenment”… and learning to love ourselves at the very core.
• TWO Authentic, heartfelt LIVE webinars each month – where our entire community gathers from around the world in a restful field of loving presence and compassion, and we talk about the things that deeply matter to us. We weave together spirituality and psychotherapy with down-to-earth, accessible, very human dialogue, stories, philosophy, meditation and poetry.
In our videos, we will also be responding to commonly asked questions sent in by members. You will experience regular gentle guided meditations to help deepen and integrate the teachings, receive written transcripts and downloadable audio of all our weekly content, and get access to a members-only online discussion group where you can connect and share with fellow participants around the world.
Over time you will build a library of inspiring, encouraging, loving content that you can dip into whenever you need a friendly reminder of how to trust in life….
We hope you can come on this monthly journey with us!
With all our love,
Jeff Foster and Matt Licata
P.S. All our live sessions are recorded for you in case you ever miss a session, so this is very much a program you can follow at your own pace…
“Wise, spacious, and loving.
Teachings that can free the heart.”
– Jack Kornfield, author of A Lamp in the Darkness and A Path With Heart
Experience a spiritual teacher and a psychotherapist helping you trust more deeply in life’s ups and downs….
Through mindful awareness, compassionate presence, and the therapeutic power of love, Jeff and Matt will invite you – moment by moment, as the months unfold – to “end the inner war” with your thoughts and feelings and to wake up to the sacredness of ordinary life.
As part of this monthly program you will receive meditative and spiritual guidance from Jeff, rooted in a deep understanding of non-duality (Oneness with all life). Jeff will invite you to slow down, discover the sacredness in your ordinary moments, and rest deeply where you are, whether you are in pain or discomfort, inner calm or inner chaos, clarity or confusion.
You will also receive monthly teachings, insights, and guidance from Matt, oriented in the dynamic field of relational and somatically grounded depth psychology, working with the shadow, integrating lost soul parts, and the alchemy of integration and healing.
Befriending Yourself is for everyone – from those stepping onto the path for the first time to more experienced meditators, yogis, spiritual seekers, coaches, healers, and psychotherapists.
It is a month-by-month journey of slowness, simplicity, kindness, and profound self-exploration led by two very unique teachers on the leading edge of non-duality, psychotherapy, and healing.
“Matt and Jeff are insightful, edgy, hilarious, and deep in their teaching together. They seamlessly interweave themes of spirituality, soul and psyche, and the comedy and gravity of being human.“
– Kelly Boys, Mindfulness Teacher to the United Nations and author of The Blind Spot Effect: How to Stop Missing What’s Right in Front of You
Partcipate in Jeff Foster and Matt Licata’s unique, lively, straight-talking dialogues LIVE every two weeks…
Twice a month you will be able to join Jeff and Matt LIVE for teaching conversations, Q&A and gentle guided meditations!
These live sessions will integrate the teachings you receive during the month. They will be an opportunity to rest and open together, slow down, and gently “lean in” to the present moment, with the helpful support of the relational field and Jeff and Matt’s gentle, loving guidance.
In the calls, Jeff and Matt will explore topics such as…
- The true meaning of “Rest” – How to stop running from life and finally rest deeply in the arms of the present moment.
- Why “working on ourselves” doesn’t always work, and how true healing can happen when we stop “trying” to heal, transform or fix ourselves.
- How we can discover peace even in the midst of pain, discomfort, loneliness and failure, and how our deepest trauma can be “digested” moment by moment.
- How our brokenness can be a portal to life’s fragility and beauty, and even our deepest wounds of shame and abandonment can help awaken us to the sacredness of life.
If you’re not able to watch the sessions live (we know many of you have busy schedules!), you will still be able to participate whenever it is convenient, connecting with the teaching material at a time that works for you… from the comfort of your own home.
What We’ll Be Exploring Together…
As the weeks unfold, Matt and Jeff will explore with Befriending Yourself members the following themes and topics:
Cultivating Compassion for Yourself in Challenging Times
- “Befriending” our most difficult and challenging experiences including grief, loss, heartbreak, and loneliness
- The nature of true self-acceptance; surrounding our painful experience with love and warmth
- Unwinding the root cause of nearly all our suffering: self-abandonment and running away from the present moment
- Being a true friend to yourself: how to care for yourself at times when you need yourself more than ever
- Beyond spiritual enlightenment: Why insight and “more clarity” is not usually enough and how self-compassion is the ultimate medicine
Learning The Art of “True Meditation”
- Meditation as an ongoing invitation to bring curious attention, moment by moment, into our everyday present experience; the art of slowing down
- Myths of meditation and cutting through outdated ideas about what meditation is
- Discovering a way of meditation that is unique for you
- Meditation as a metaphor for being fully alive, awake and fascinated with the “ordinary moments”
- How meditation takes place not only in a formal session, but in our daily lives
- Meditation as the ultimate act of befriending
- Integration and tending to each layer of our experience with interest, curiosity, and love
Illuminating the Dark and Shadowy Places Within
- Meet and provide a home for abandoned, helpless, and lost parts of yourself – including shameful, wounded, and traumatized parts – with presence, spaciousness, and compassion
- Allowing difficult thoughts, feelings, and emotions to take form as images or figures with whom we can dialogue
- Meeting the abandoned children within us
- Discovering the “positive” parts of the shadow including getting in touch with joy, creativity, desire, passion, and a simple feeling of being alive
- How we project contents of the shadow if we are not in conscious relationship with them – and how to withdraw these projections by way of increased consciousness, kindness, and compassion
- “De-pathologizing” the shadow and un-shaming our early strategies to care for ourselves, seeing them as adaptive, creative and highly intelligent
Untangling Spiritual Myths and Misunderstandings
- Exposing and illuminating common myths and misunderstandings about “healing,” “spiritual enlightenment,” “awakening,” and “personal transformation,”; the importance of breathing new life back into concepts which have lost their original vitality
- Rehumanizing the spiritual journey; honoring our human wounding, blessing our flaws, imperfections and doubts
- Including the body, emotions, and relationships in our spiritual practice in an integral embrace
- Rediscovering the “extraordinary within the ordinary” – true spirituality not as “getting from here to there,” but as attunement to the here and now
- The true nature of healing and exploring the mystery of holding
- There is no awakening or healing in the next moment, but only NOW – the miracle of “one moment at a time”
Navigating Times of Transition and Crisis with Courage & Confidence
- Responding to inevitable times of overwhelm, breakdown, and disillusionment with presence, courage, and compassion
- The alchemy of brokenness and failure: loss and disappointment as powerful portals into healing
- Tending to the death of old dreams; when friends, lovers, jobs, purpose, and meaning fall away
- Learning to “fall apart” with more consciousness and love and how to use these experiences to deepen our relationship with ourselves and with life
- The decay or “yellowing” of life; letting go of the way we thought it was all going to turn out and finding the magic, creativity and even relief in these states
- Turning toward ourselves when the rug is pulled out from under us, with tenderness, curiosity, and kindness
Meeting Shame and Unworthiness… and Discovering the Beauty in our Vulnerability
- Having a healthy and creative relationship with our vulnerability and sensitivity
- The beauty and mercy of our brokenness; leading with our vulnerability and discovering the power hidden inside it
- Saying No and taking care of ourselves; when to lead instead with boundaries and self-protection, emphasizing our separateness and bravely standing up for ourselves
- The art of disappointing another and working with the shame, guilt, fear and anxiety that can often come with that
- How shame and unworthiness (“I’m not good enough”) underlie so much of our emotional suffering and struggle
- Illuminating our wounding around abandonment and unlovability with curiosity, warmth, and compassion
- How shame can be a portal into spiritual discovery and profound emotional healing
Your Two Trusted, Authentic, Playful Guides…
“Matt and Jeff are loved and appreciated due to their humility, humanity and sense of humor, and their unique ability to articulate complex spiritual and psychological concepts in a simple, down-to-earth way, where everyone who listens feels included and honored…”
Through their combined experience of working with tens of thousands of people all over the world – and moving through their own suffering, shame, trauma, and spiritual seeking – Matt and Jeff are able to serve as compassionate, insightful, and authentic friends and guides.
This journey of “self-befriending” has been life-changing for both of them. Spirituality is at once deeply serious for them, yet at the same time, perhaps paradoxically, their humorous, light, and playful approach has helped so many over the years to disarm their defenses, step off the battlefield, and engage the journey of healing and awakening more artistically, playfully, and poetically.
Matt Licata, PhD
Matt Licata, PhD is a depth psychotherapist, writer, and independent scholar based in Boulder, Colorado. For the last 25 years, he has been involved in the rich and creative dialogue between depth psychological and meditative approaches to personal growth, emotional healing, and spiritual transformation.
He is the author of The Path is Everywhere: Uncovering the Jewels Hidden Within You and the forthcoming A Healing Space: Befriending Yourself in Difficult Times (Sounds True, 2020).
Jeff Foster is an author, poet, and popular spiritual teacher from the UK. He studied Astrophysics at Cambridge University. In his early twenties, struggling with chronic shame and suicidal depression, he became addicted to the idea of “spiritual enlightenment” and began a near-obsessive spiritual quest for the ultimate truth of existence. The search came crashing down with the discovery of “nonduality” and the simple joy of Presence. For over a decade Jeff has offered meetings and retreats around the world, inviting people into a place of radical self-acceptance and Deep Rest.
His latest book is The Joy of True Meditation: Words of Encouragement for Tired Minds and Wild Hearts (New Sarum Press, 2019).
Here’s What You’ll Receive Each Month …
1) Two video teaching sessions with Jeff and Matt (plus downloadable written transcripts)
Join Matt and Jeff for provocative, playful, inspiring video teachings! They will guide you and share their discoveries from both spiritual and psychological perspectives, in a simple, friendly and non-dogmatic way. It’s like having them in your own living room, friends on the journey who will share their personal experience in working with thousands around the world, speaking directly to you and what you are experiencing now. We will also give you downloadable written transcripts for each session.
2) Two LIVE webinar dialogues between Jeff and Matt (including meditations and Q&A)
In these lively, unscripted LIVE sessions, Jeff and Matt will – through conversation, poetry, humor, and authentic personal stories – explore the place where spirituality and therapy come together. They will help you “fall in love” with the chaotic, sweet, glorious, sacred mess of our ordinary lives. These interactive live sessions are designed to complement the monthly solo teaching videos, providing an experiential immersion in the Befriending Yourself learning material.
Jeff and Matt will also guide you through gentle and easy meditations – suitable for all levels of practitioners, including those who have never meditated before, feel stuck in their practice, or for those looking for a fresh, creative, and new approach to meditation.
3) A private membership site where you can access Jeff and Matt’s teachings any time:
You will receive access to all of the Befriending Yourself materials in one easy-to-use portal. Each week as content is released you will be able to stay up to date and access any sessions that you missed. As long as you are a member you will have access to a growing library of all Jeff and Matt’s content.
4) A members-only discussion group:
You will also get access to a private discussion group. This is the place to connect and engage with fellow Befriending Yourself members from all over the world, share your heartfelt experience, pose questions, and listen to your fellow travelers’ responses. Many participants have reported that this group is very supportive as they work through the course content.
Plus You’ll Receive These Additional Bonuses
Bonus #1 – Free Digital Copy of Jeff’s Unreleased Meditation CD “Slowing Down, Coming Home”
You will receive an 89 minute mp3 copy of Jeff’s gentle guided meditations for meeting the pain and joy of each moment of your life. The CD was recorded live and is being made available exclusively for Befriending Yourself members. In three simple, restful meditations – Jeff guides you into the compassionate heart of Presence. He invites you to slow down and bring your attention and breath back to Now, the “present scene of the movie of your life,” and bless your present experience with “sacred attention.” You will discover your true home.
Tracks include: An Invitation to Deep Rest: Slowing Down and Being As You Are; A Big Yes to This Moment: Diving Into The Vast Ocean of Presence; and An Awareness as Big as the Universe: Falling into the Stillness of the Heart.
Bonus #2 – Free Digital Copy of Matt’s Unreleased Meditation CD “Meditations for Befriending Yourself”
On this live 79 minute meditation CD recorded exclusively for Befriending Yourself members, Matt guides listeners into the inner sanctuary of their immediate experience. Based in mindful presence, self-compassion, and working within the imaginal world, you can use these meditations as part of a daily practice or anytime you’re wanting to bring loving awareness to yourself. Infusing your experience with curiosity, consciousness and ultimately, love, meditation is more than just an exercise or technique, it is a radical revisioning of life.
Tracks include: A Sacred Conversation: Listening to the Still, Small Voice; A Healing Rain: Caring for Yourself in Difficult Times; A Temple of Space: Infusing This Moment with Presence, Curiosity, and Warmth; The Miracle of Attention: Love and the Unfolding of a Mystery; and Let Love Have You: Resting in the Mystery of Not-Knowing.
Bonus #3 – Exclusive video from Jeff on “The End of the Spiritual Search… and the Beginning of NOW”
In this exclusive video recorded especially for members of Befriending Yourself, Jeff speaks with humor and authenticity about the discovery of non-duality, the “extraordinary in the ordinary” as he calls it. He invites you to stop chasing altered states, put down your exhausting spiritual search – for awakening, for enlightenment, for permanent bliss and the disappearance of the ego – let go of your attempts to “let go,” and consider another possibility: that everything you long for is already here, today, waiting for you in the present moment.
Jeff explains how spiritual enlightenment is not an escape from the mess of being human, but a radical embrace of it, a “falling in love with where you are.” It’s available to all of us, in every single moment of our lives. Paradoxically, as we release our attempts to become awakened or enlightened, we discover the loving awakeness – and the Light – that we already are! He invites you to rest, deeply, in the healing arms of the present moment.
Bonus #4 – The Invitation of True Intimacy: Relationship as a Modern-Day Crucible for Transformation and Healing [Special Report]
In this report, Matt discusses how and why intimacy and close relationship is a modern-day temple that offers a very unique, difficult, and alive path of healing and transformation. It is one thing to be awakened and healed on our own – on our yoga mats, meditation cushions, or when everything is going smoothly – but altogether different when within a challenging relational field, especially where we’ve allowed another to truly matter to us. There is nothing like close, intimate relationship to remind us of everything that remains unresolved within. How annoying. How precious. Sweet and fierce grace. Many of us sense the evolutionary possibility in a relationship oriented in truth, honesty, and spiritual growth – one that makes room for our connection as well as our separateness. Making this journey with a friend, lover, or fellow traveler has become more and more rare in a world that has forgotten the majesty and provocative invitation uniquely offered within a matrix of relationship. Together, in this report, we’ll shine a light into some of these lost pieces and allow them to reassemble in the body, the psyche, and the heart, planting seeds for new vision.
Bonus #5 – Case Study: Trusting Your Experience and the Opening of One Human Heart
In this case study, Matt shares the story of the transformation of a woman in her mid- 40s struggling with overwhelming feelings of unworthiness, hopelessness, and despair. She had dedicated the prior decade to spiritual practice and working on herself and had come to a real turning point in her life. It seemed as if she had fallen apart, but was there more to the story? Through mindfulness-based, meditative, psychological, somatic, and imaginal lenses, we bear witness to the unfolding of soul, serving as a reminder of what is possible. It is not only her journey that we will step into together, but our journey, for we all share a human heart, psyche, and nervous system. We all long to be safe, happy, free, and alive, to fully participate in a miracle we sense is nearby… but has somehow fallen out of reach. Even though the particulars will always be unique and distinctive for each of us, when it’s all said and done, we really aren’t that separate after all.
“At the core of our deepest longing is to be friends with ourselves, to hold and touch and dance and play with the pieces of soul that sparkle and form our true being…”
– Matt Licata
with Jeff Foster and Matt Licata
As a Member You’ll Receive…
1) Heartfelt TEACHING VIDEOS from both Jeff and Matt each month
2) TWO LIVE AND INTERACTIVE WEBINARS with Jeff and Matt in dialogue together each month
3) A growing library of course content accessible 24/7 through a membership portal – including video, audio and written transcripts
4) A members-only discussion group where you can connect and share with fellow participants around the world
Plus these Bonuses:
BONUS #1 – Digital Copy of Jeff’s “Slowing Down, Coming Home” CD
BONUS #2 – Digital Copy of Matt’s “Meditations for Befriending Yourself” CD
BONUS #3 – “The End of the Spiritual Search… and the Beginning of NOW” Video Teaching with Jeff Foster
BONUS #4 – “The Invitation of True Intimacy” Report by Matt Licata
BONUS #5 – “Trusting Your Experience and the Opening of One Human Heart” Case Study by Matt Licata
Total Monthly Value: $300+
Join us inside Befriending Yourself today!
Click the button below to go to a secure order page:
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“When things are uncomfortable, challenging, or difficult,
the temptation is to run, to disconnect.
But what happens when, just for a moment,
you find the courage to stay?
Befriending Yourself is true meditation.
Just being here, now. Breathing into the hurt place.
Saturating the pain and shame with curiosity and kindness.
This is a great act of love! For yourself.
For others. And for all of humanity…”
– Matt Licata & Jeff Foster
“When things are uncomfortable, challenging, or difficult, the temptation is to run, to disconnect.
But what happens when, just for a moment, you find the courage to stay?
Befriending Yourself is true meditation.
Just being here, now.
Breathing into the hurt place. Saturating the pain and shame with curiosity and kindness. This is a great act of love!
For others. And for all of humanity…”
– Matt Licata & Jeff Foster
What People are Saying
“After dozens of retreats, thousands of dollars spent on self-help books, therapists and meditation classes… I finally learned how to meet my deepest pain and shame… and even find joy and humor there.” – Participant
“After a lifetime of spiritual seeking, after all the insights, experiences, revelations, I finally found the missing ingredient that gives the courage to stay here, now, without the reference to my personal drama. The tenderness that addresses the human being. Infinite, beautiful, human mystery…” – Participant
“Over 25 years of jumping from one ‘next best method’ to the next, feels like it’s finally over. These lessons are so easily applied in daily life, and I don’t have to burn special incense, ring a bell 33 times, or squeeze myself in a vice grip while chanting in a foreign tongue. Loving this!” – Participant
“The way Matt and Jeff blend together the wisdom of nonduality and meditation with that of psychotherapy and emotional healing was the medicine I needed to breakthrough a real dead-end I had come to in my life. It was really sacred for me to sit in this field with them and recover something I had thought I lost. I’m deeply grateful and humbled.” – Participant
“Sitting in the many sessions, meeting people I might not normally meet, but hearing their archetypal struggles…. having the time and space to connect to an understanding that goes beyond … and coming away with a resonance from all this that has me gently smiling as I type you this message…” – Participant
“The experience was such a beautiful death for me. A death to my identity, as a concrete thing, a death to the old idea of relationship & attachment, a death to my idea of the world as it is/was. What I created was a place of EVER fluxing, riding the wave of the flow, finding my balance in the flux. Letting life breath me. This portal of healing was ignited, again, by attending your retreat. The brain detoxing retreat!” – Participant
“There was something so powerful and transformative for me to do this work in the presence of two men that I trusted, that wanted nothing from me other than to mirror back to me the miracle of my own heart and the uniqueness of my journey, which would never look like anyone else’s. In their kindness and authenticity, I was able to relax, finally, to rest and explore and play and remember what was most important to me. They really are the dynamic duo!” – Participant
“I was not aware of the deep shame that was affecting my life and especially my relationships until I spent this time working with Jeff and Matt. Shining a bright light into these shadowy parts of my experience and befriending it with a love and compassion I didn’t even know was available has changed everything for me. They are true lifesavers. Not gurus or experts or masters, but true friends, fellow travelers, and wayshowers. I’m so happy I met them.” – Participant
“Matt has so much to offer the world. Jeff has so much to offer the world. And, together, their wisdom, humor and compassion is through the roof and through the heart! I was saturated with love at this retreat. It was wonderful and I am reconsidering what is possible..” – Participant
“Thank you Jeff and Matt, you helped create a holding field of love and compassion that truly fostered powerful connections with deeper self and others. You are all Angels walking among us!” – Participant
“Thank you Jeff, it was truly extraordinary, a life altering experience. What a joy and an honor to be a part of this retreat. I so appreciate how you & Matt skillfully pointed my attention in directions that expanded my consciousness and opened my heart.” – Participant
“Fall in love with where you are.
Turn towards this – a sacred moment, unrepeatable.
Trust the ebb and flow of things.
Say “YES!” to uncertainty and the unresolvedness of your life.
Come out of stories and second-hand dreams
and remember the place where breathing happens.
Here and Now…”
– Jeff Foster
Frequently Asked Questions
Are the sessions live or prerecorded?
All of the video and audio content will be loaded for you into the private membership site for easy access at any time of day or night. The dialogues each month are broadcast LIVE and Matt and Jeff’s solo teaching sessions are recorded as-live. You will be able to submit your questions to Matt and Jeff via a special form on the membership site.
What are the dates and times of the live sessions? Can I access a replay if I cannot attend a session live?
On the 2nd and 4th Thursdays of every month at 11am Pacific Time (USA / Los Angeles Time) there will be a live session with Matt and Jeff. You will receive an email reminder before each live event. Within 24 hours of each live event, we will upload the recording to the membership site, so don’t worry if you can’t join us live!
You can join us from ANYWHERE in the world! Check call times in your time zone using this handy tool: https://timeanddate.com/worldclock/converter.html
Are there scholarships available for the course?
This is the first online training that has been co-created by Matt and Jeff. It has been self-produced and funded to get the work into the world. A limited number of scholarships may become available and you can request more information at email@example.com.
I signed up but did not get an email confirmation?
Please check your Spam/Junk/Promotions folder for an email that says ‘Welcome to Befriending Yourself.” If you still do not see it then please contact firstname.lastname@example.org and submit a support ticket.
Will you be mailing anything to me or is everything digital?
Everything is digital and online, available to you to access via the membership site whenever you need it.
How do I know if I am registered?
If your payment has gone through and you have received an email with your login details then you are registered! Please check your spam folder to locate the email that says ‘Welcome to Befriending Yourself’.
How do I ask questions of Jeff and Matt?
Inside the private membership site you will be able to submit questions to Jeff and Matt via a special form. They will address these during their teaching videos and their live dialogues. They will choose questions that are most relevant for the whole group.
How can I get support?
We are here to support you along the way with any questions you may have about purchasing and accessing the course. For support please email: email@example.com Sometimes our emails might end up in your Junk/Spam/Promotions folder, so please do check there!
Join us inside Befriending Yourself today…
Click the button below to go to a secure order page:
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Our Promise and 100% Guarantee
We have created this membership site to be of value and benefit for those interested in exploring teachings and practices on self-compassion, meditation, mindfulness, and self-acceptance. You can try it risk free for 30 days, so in those 30 days for any reason you are not satisfied or are unable to continue just send us a email and we will refund you. Thank you!
Matt and Jeff
(C) Jeff Foster and Matt Licata