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with Jeff Foster and Matt Licata

A Supportive Online Experience

– featuring teachings, meditations, Q&A,

poetic, healing conversations, and live interaction –

with a Spiritual Teacher and a Psychotherapist.


WINTER (2020): Embracing the Shadow and Lost Soul Pieces*

SPRING (2021): The Radical Truth of Self-Realization


***Please note that for the module on the Shadow (December through February), Jeff Foster will not be able to participate and the module will be led solely by Matt Licata***


” Through Jeff and Matt’s wise, loving, and playful guidance each week, I have been learning to come home to myself, moment by moment…”


with Jeff Foster and Matt Licata

A Supportive Online Experience

– featuring teachings, meditations, Q&A,

poetic, healing conversations, and live interaction –

with a Spiritual Teacher and a Psychotherapist.


***Please note that for the module on the Shadow (December through February), Jeff Foster will not be able to participate and the module will be led solely by Matt Licata***


A Personal Invitation from Jeff Foster and Matt Licata

Dear Friend,

It’s been a sometimes scary, sometimes disorienting, and totally unprecedented six months for all of us.

Many of us are looking for new ways to re-imagine and make sense of our lives, to “reset” and rest our weary minds and over-stimulated nervous systems, and to come back safely into the holding and loving arms of the present moment.

In this spirit, we have decided to re-open our Befriending Yourself community as a place of refuge, a welcoming home where we can gather together each week to support one another during these challenging times.

Over the next 7 months, we will make the hero’s journey of the heart together, remembering what is most important, and mining that alchemical gold that is found only in times of inner and outer transition.


  • DECEMBER TO FEBRUARY… This season, we will explore the Shadow and Lost Pieces of Soul and what it means to work with and integrate the unwanted parts of ourselves. By allowing these lost “children” to come home, we release years and decades of trauma and bound-up energy, allowing us to experience deeper layers of joy, connection, and peace.

  • MARCH TO JUNE … Finally, we will journey together “Beyond the Project of Self-Improvement” and into an experience of life that is wide open, oriented in freedom, and no longer organized around “solving the problem of me.” We open to the radical possibility that what we are is not a project to be improved, but a mystery coming into form, a realization that unlocks a new way of being in the world.

We would love to have you join us on this journey together and we invite you to explore this page and the videos here to learn more about Befriending Yourself and our sweet community.

With love and appreciation!

Jeff Foster & Matt Licata

P.S. Please note that for the module on the Shadow (December through February), Jeff Foster will not be able to participate and the module will be led solely by Matt Licata. 

Join Befriending Yourself Today...

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It is a unique time that we live in, when structures both inside and around us seem to be dissolving. It’s like an old dream is burning away, but we don’t quite yet know what will be born out of its ashes. Many of us sense that things are not going to “go back to the way they were,”  or return to “normal”, but are unsure of how to make use of this unique opportunity to give birth to something more alive, integrated, and whole.

As the great mystics, poets, and alchemists have discovered, it is during times of transition, uncertainty, and confusion that we have a special opportunity for cleansing old, outdated lenses of perception. In times when it can seem as if things are “falling apart”, in our personal lives or in the world, how can we stay centered, grounded, and in the here and now with greater levels of grace, wisdom, and compassion?

It is our intention with Befriending Yourself to provide a temple of truth and authenticity in which we can explore these mysteries together, week-by-week, in meditation, dialogue, and connecting in deeper ways with both lost parts of ourselves as well as with like-minded fellow travelers from around the world.

It is so easy to fall into a state of despair, fear, hopelessness, or even profound loneliness in times such as these. We need not deny or run away from these experiences, but we do not need to be flooded by or drown in them either. Somewhere in the “holy middle” is a place of refuge, of life, of wisdom, kindness, and greater love.

In the upcoming weeks and months, together we will create a place of safety, compassion, healing, and deepening self-awareness, where you can go at your own pace, honoring what is most important to you and your own path of direct revelation. It is our hope through our time together that you discover a true spirituality and healing path of your own, a way of approaching the mystery that is radically unique to you and your own wildness, sensitivities, and eccentricities.


“Matt and Jeff are insightful, edgy, hilarious, and deep in their teaching together. They seamlessly interweave themes of spirituality, soul and psyche, and the comedy and gravity of being human.

– Kelly Boys, Mindfulness Teacher to the United Nations and author of The Blind Spot Effect: How to Stop Missing What’s Right in Front of You


Each week of your membership you will be joining Jeff and Matt LIVE for teaching, conversations, live interaction, Q&A, and gentle guided meditations. 

These live sessions are an opportunity to rest, slow down, breathe, and gently “lean in” to the present moment, with the helpful support of the relational field and Jeff and Matt’s gentle, encouraging guidance and support. 

There is a unique field of resonance – or “holding environment” – that develops between and inside us when we gather together like this with the shared intention to come home to the Here and Now, open our hearts, and awaken our authentic selves.

If you’re not able to watch the sessions live (we know many of you have busy schedules!), you will still be able to participate whenever it is convenient, connecting with the teaching material at a time that works for you… from the comfort of your own home.

What We’ll Be Exploring Together Over the Next 7 Months…

WINTER (2020) – December, January, and February

The Courage to be Broken: Working with the Shadow and the Lost Pieces of the Soul

How our Inevitable Experiences of Sadness, Grief, Disappointment, and Deflation are Portals to Healing 

As open, sensitive human beings, we’re all going to be asked to meet with waves of challenging experience, and states of sadness, grief, heartbreak and disappointment, energies that are so often dismissed or denied on the spiritual path. But these experiences are filled with sacred information and are actually doorways to deeper self-awareness, compassion, and the experience of aliveness. 

But how do we mine the gold in the darkness? Through meditation, shadow-sensitive inquiry, and learning to “start exactly where we are”, we may come to discover a trust and confidence in our immediate, embodied experience, even when it is challenging, intense, and goes against the grain of who we think we are, and who others need us to be. 

We may find the beauty in our brokenness, and the light in our shadow. 

In this quarter, we will explore the following: 

  • The healing potential of difficult experience; mining the gold in our grief, disappointment, heartbreak and disillusionment
  • How the intimacy, life, and connection we long for is found only in a conscious, embodied, and kind relationship to the full-spectrum of human experience
  • The myth of “being happy” all the time, and the self-aggression involved in the pressure to live up to some image of happiness
  • The beauty of meaninglessness, purposelessness and despair: Untangling the fantasy that we’re always supposed to know what to do with our lives 
  • How disappointment is a secret portal to a feeling of embodied aliveness

Our disappointment may be our greatest friend. Our sorrow may actually be here to heal us. Our anger may hold the key to our aliveness. Our heartbreak may be a portal to a deeper love than we ever knew was possible. But we have to be willing to look…” 

– Jeff Foster

There are parts of the psyche and pieces of the soul that are longing to reach us, not to harm or take us down, but to come back home, as one of love’s children, to take their rightful place in that larger ecology of what we are.” 

– Matt Licata

SPRING (2021) – March, April, May, & June 

What Lies Beyond the Project of Self-Improvement?

Finding Ultimate Freedom in the Here & Now

Exploring a Radical Possibility: That Happiness is Not About “Feeling Better” or “Improving Our Lives”, but Ultimately About Touching the Divine in Every Moment

What happens when we stop trying to fix or improve ourselves, stop trying to “feel better” or even “become enlightened”, and surrender to the way we are – imperfections, flaws, wounds and all? The meditative traditions point to a radical new relationship with life and ourselves where no matter what appears in our experience, we turn towards it with a spirit of curiosity and open-heartedness.

Here is a paradoxical truth. When we give up trying to feel better, we may actually start to feel better. When we stop trying to heal, we may actually begin to heal. When we give up our search for enlightenment, we may discover it… right where we are.

Perhaps, as Jesus said, the Kingdom of Heaven is here on Earth, and we just need to open our eyes and hearts to it. 

In this quarter, we will explore the following: 

  • “True meditation”, and ending the trance of postponement
  • How the ultimate realization of the Befriending teachings is freedom and full immersion in life and not necessarily in feeling happy or at peace all the time
  • How our spiritual lives can become another manifestation of self-aggression and self-abandonment, and how to turn this around
  • How we can disentangle from the exhausting “project” of self-improvement, and embrace ourselves exactly as we are

Freedom is not a destination. It’s not a place we reach one day. It’s already here. Right in the midst of our present experience. Yes, within the mess, the ache, the longing, even the suffering, if we truly look, we may find the very thing we have always been seeking...” 

– Jeff Foster

The experiential, felt discovery of freedom that we all so deeply long for is never going to arise from a project of self-improvement. It is always, already here, shining and shimmering out of our immediate experience in the here-and-now, closer to us than our very own breath.” 

– Matt Licata

“Wise, spacious, and loving.

Teachings that can free the heart.”

– Jack Kornfield, author of A Lamp in the Darkness and A Path With Heart

“Wise, spacious, and loving.

Teachings that can free the heart.”

– Jack Kornfield, author of A Lamp in the Darkness and A Path With Heart

Your Two Trusted, Authentic, Playful Guides…

“Matt and Jeff are loved and appreciated due to their humility, humanity and sense of humor, and their unique ability to articulate complex spiritual and psychological concepts in a simple, down-to-earth way, where everyone who listens feels included and honored…” 

Through their combined experience of working with tens of thousands of people all over the world – and moving through their own suffering, shame, trauma, and spiritual seeking – Matt and Jeff are able to serve as compassionate, insightful, and authentic friends and guides.

This journey of “self-befriending” has been life-changing for both of them. Spirituality is at once deeply serious for them, yet at the same time, perhaps paradoxically, their humorous, light, and playful approach has helped so many over the years to disarm their defenses, step off the battlefield, and engage the journey of healing and awakening more artistically, playfully, and poetically.

Matt Licata, PhD

Matt Licata, PhD is a depth psychotherapist, writer, and independent scholar based in Boulder, Colorado. For the last 25 years, he has been involved in the rich and creative dialogue between depth psychological and meditative approaches to personal growth, emotional healing, and spiritual transformation.

He is the author of the newly released A Healing Space: Befriending Yourself in Difficult Times (Sounds True, 2020), and also The Path is Everywhere: Uncovering the Jewels Hidden Within You.

Jeff Foster

Jeff Foster is an author, poet, and popular spiritual teacher from the UK. He studied Astrophysics at Cambridge University. In his early twenties, struggling with chronic shame and suicidal depression, he became addicted to the idea of “spiritual enlightenment” and began a near-obsessive spiritual quest for the ultimate truth of existence. The search came crashing down with the discovery of “nonduality” and the simple joy of Presence. For over a decade Jeff has offered meetings and retreats around the world, inviting people into a place of radical self-acceptance and Deep Rest.

His latest book is You Were Never Broken: Poems to Save Your Life (Sounds True, 2020).


Here’s What You’ll Receive Each Month…

1) Weekly live sessions with Jeff and Matt (plus downloadable audio and written transcripts)

Join Matt and Jeff as they guide you and share their discoveries around healing, trauma, spiritual awakening, and the search for peace and happiness, from both spiritual and psychological perspectives, in a simple, friendly and non-dogmatic way. It’s like having them in your own living room, trusted friends on the journey who will share their personal experience in working with thousands around the world. We will also provide downloadable audio and written transcripts for each session. 

Jeff and Matt will also guide you through gentle and easy trauma-sensitive meditations – suitable for all levels of practitioners, including those who have never meditated before, feel stuck in their practice, or for those looking for a fresh, creative, and new approach to meditation.

Each month there will be FOUR sessions – two with Matt and Jeff together, one with Matt “solo”, and one with Jeff “solo”. 

2) The Shadow and Self-Realization: The Unique portals of transformation…

These are the core topics that you have been asking us to explore.  Each season we will unpack a different aspect of Befriending Yourself through these unique lenses:

  • SHADOW as a carrier of light and healing medicine.
  • SELF-REALIZATION as always already here.

Through lively, unscripted LIVE sessions, Jeff and Matt will – by way of conversation, poetry, humor, and authentic personal stories – explore the place where spirituality and therapy come together.

They will help you befriend the chaotic, sweet, glorious, sacred mess of our ordinary lives.


3) A private membership site where you can access Jeff and Matt’s teachings any time:

You will receive access to all of the Befriending Yourself materials in one easy-to-use portal. Each week as content is released you will be able to stay up to date and access any sessions that you missed. As long as you are a member you will have access to a growing library of all Jeff and Matt’s content.

4) A members-only discussion group:

You will also get access to a private discussion group. This is the place to connect and engage with fellow Befriending Yourself members from all over the world, share your heartfelt experience, pose questions, and listen to your fellow travelers’ responses. Many participants have reported that this group is very supportive as they work through the course content.  


Plus You’ll Receive These Additional Bonuses

Bonus #1 – Free Digital Copy of Jeff’s Unreleased Meditation CD “Slowing Down, Coming Home”

You will receive an 89 minute MP3 copy of Jeff’s gentle guided meditations for meeting the pain and joy of each moment of your life. The CD was recorded live and is being made available exclusively for Befriending Yourself members. In three simple, restful meditations –  Jeff guides you into the compassionate heart of Presence. He invites you to slow down and bring your attention and breath back to Now, the “present scene of the movie of your life,” and bless your present experience with “sacred attention.” You will discover your true home.

Tracks include: An Invitation to Deep Rest: Slowing Down and Being As You Are; A Big Yes to This Moment: Diving Into The Vast Ocean of Presence; and An Awareness as Big as the Universe: Falling into the Stillness of the Heart.

Bonus #2 – Free Digital Copy of Matt’s Unreleased Meditation CD “Meditations for Befriending Yourself”

On this live 79 minute meditation CD recorded exclusively for Befriending Yourself members, Matt guides listeners into the inner sanctuary of their immediate experience. Based in mindful presence, self-compassion, and working within the imaginal world, you can use these meditations as part of a daily practice or anytime you’re wanting to bring loving awareness to yourself. Infusing your experience with curiosity, consciousness and ultimately, love, meditation is more than just an exercise or technique, it is a radical revisioning of life.

Tracks include: A Sacred Conversation: Listening to the Still, Small Voice; A Healing Rain: Caring for Yourself in Difficult Times; A Temple of Space: Infusing This Moment with Presence, Curiosity, and Warmth; The Miracle of Attention: Love and the Unfolding of a Mystery; and Let Love Have You: Resting in the Mystery of Not-Knowing.

Bonus #3 – Exclusive video from Jeff on “The End of the Spiritual Search… and the Beginning of NOW”

In this exclusive video recorded especially for members of Befriending Yourself, Jeff speaks with humor and authenticity about the discovery of non-duality, the “extraordinary in the ordinary” as he calls it. He invites you to stop chasing altered states, put down your exhausting spiritual search – for awakening, for enlightenment, for permanent bliss and the disappearance of the ego – let go of your attempts to “let go,” and consider another possibility: that everything you long for is already here, today, waiting for you in the present moment.

Jeff explains how spiritual enlightenment is not an escape from the mess of being human, but a radical embrace of it, a “falling in love with where you are.” It’s available to all of us, in every single moment of our lives. Paradoxically, as we release our attempts to become awakened or enlightened, we discover the loving awakeness – and the Light –  that we already are! He invites you to rest, deeply, in the healing arms of the present moment.

Bonus #4 – The Invitation of True Intimacy: Relationship as a Modern-Day Crucible for Transformation and Healing [Special Report]

In this report, Matt discusses how and why intimacy and close relationship is a modern-day temple that offers a very unique, difficult, and alive path of healing and transformation. It is one thing to be awakened and healed on our own – on our yoga mats, meditation cushions, or when everything is going smoothly – but altogether different when within a challenging relational field, especially where we’ve allowed another to truly matter to us. There is nothing like close, intimate relationship to remind us of everything that remains unresolved within. How annoying. How precious. Sweet and fierce grace. Many of us sense the evolutionary possibility in a relationship oriented in truth, honesty, and spiritual growth – one that makes room for our connection as well as our separateness. Making this journey with a friend, lover, or fellow traveler has become more and more rare in a world that has forgotten the majesty and provocative invitation uniquely offered within a matrix of relationship. Together, in this report, we’ll shine a light into some of these lost pieces and allow them to reassemble in the body, the psyche, and the heart, planting seeds for new vision.

Bonus #5 – Case Study: Trusting Your Experience and the Opening of One Human Heart

In this case study, Matt shares the story of the transformation of a woman in her mid- 40s struggling with overwhelming feelings of unworthiness, hopelessness, and despair. She had dedicated the prior decade to spiritual practice and working on herself and had come to a real turning point in her life. It seemed as if she had fallen apart, but was there more to the story? Through mindfulness-based, meditative, psychological, somatic, and imaginal lenses, we bear witness to the unfolding of soul, serving as a reminder of what is possible. It is not only her journey that we will step into together, but our journey, for we all share a human heart, psyche, and nervous system. We all long to be safe, happy, free, and alive, to fully participate in a miracle we sense is nearby… but has somehow fallen out of reach. Even though the particulars will always be unique and distinctive for each of us, when it’s all said and done, we really aren’t that separate after all.

Bonus #6 – Exclusive Video from Jeff & Matt on “The Myth of Letting Go”

In this special video, Jeff and Matt speak about how the well-intentioned goal to “let go” of certain thoughts, feelings, and other unwanted parts of our experience can actually serve as another form of self-abandonment, and ultimately keep us trapped in cycles of struggle and resistance.

While challenging experience is not easy to turn toward, it often contains wisdom which is not accessible if it is “let go” too quickly. We may come to discover that we need not “let go” of our confusion, uncertainty, fear, and grief, but that it will “let go” of us when met in loving awareness.

What happens when we let go of the very idea of “letting go”?

“At the core of our deepest longing is to be friends with ourselvesto hold and touch and dance and play with the pieces of soul that sparkle and form our true being…”

– Matt Licata


with Jeff Foster and Matt Licata

As a Member You’ll Receive…

1) Regular heartfelt LIVE SESSIONS with Jeff and Matt 
2) Two Seasonal Modules: THE SHADOW and SELF-REALIZATION
3) A growing library of course content accessible 24/7 through a membership portal – including video, audio and written transcripts
4) A members-only discussion group where you can connect and share with fellow participants around the world

Plus these Bonuses:


BONUS #1 – Digital Copy of Jeff’s “Slowing Down, Coming Home” CD
BONUS #2 – Digital Copy of Matt’s “Meditations for Befriending Yourself” CD
BONUS #3 – “The End of the Spiritual Search… and the Beginning of NOW” Video Teaching with Jeff Foster
BONUS #4 – “The Invitation of True Intimacy” Report by Matt Licata
BONUS #5 – Trusting Your Experience and the Opening of One Human Heart” Case Study by Matt Licata
BONUS #6 – The Myth of Letting Go” Video by Jeff Foster and Matt Licata

Total Monthly Value: $300+

“When things are uncomfortable, challenging, or difficult,
the temptation is to run, to disconnect.
But what happens when, just for a moment,
you find the courage to stay?

Befriending Yourself is true meditation.
Just being here, now. Breathing into the hurt place.

Saturating the pain and shame with curiosity and kindness.
This is a great act of love! For yourself.
For others. And for all of humanity…”

– Matt Licata & Jeff Foster

Join us inside Befriending  Yourself today!

Click a button below to go to a secure order page:







Save $50

***Please note that for the module on the Shadow (December through February), Jeff Foster will not be able to participate and the module will be led solely by Matt Licata***

Our Promise and 100% Guarantee

We have created this membership site to be of value and benefit for those interested in exploring teachings and practices on self-compassion, meditation, mindfulness, and self-acceptance. You can try it risk free for 30 days, so in those 30 days for any reason you are not satisfied or are unable to continue just send us a email and we will refund you. Thank you!

Matt and Jeff

What People are Saying

After dozens of retreats, thousands of dollars spent on self-help books, therapists and meditation classes… I finally learned how to meet my deepest pain and shame… and even find joy and humor there.” – Participant

After a lifetime of spiritual seeking, after all the insights, experiences, revelations, I finally found the missing ingredient that gives the courage to stay here, now, without the reference to my personal drama. The tenderness that addresses the human being. Infinite, beautiful, human mystery…” – Participant

“Over 25 years of jumping from one ‘next best method’ to the next, feels like it’s finally over. These lessons are so easily applied in daily life, and I don’t have to burn special incense, ring a bell 33 times, or squeeze myself in a vice grip while chanting in a foreign tongue. Loving this!” – Participant

The way Matt and Jeff blend together the wisdom of nonduality and meditation with that of psychotherapy and emotional healing was the medicine I needed to breakthrough a real dead-end I had come to in my life. It was really sacred for me to sit in this field with them and recover something I had thought I lost. I’m deeply grateful and humbled.” – Participant

Sitting in the many sessions, meeting people I might not normally meet, but hearing their archetypal struggles…. having the time and space to connect to an understanding that goes beyond … and coming away with a resonance from all this that has me gently smiling as I type you this message…” – Participant

“The experience was such a beautiful death for me. A death to my identity, as a concrete thing, a death to the old idea of relationship & attachment, a death to my idea of the world as it is/was. What I created was a place of EVER fluxing, riding the wave of the flow, finding my balance in the flux. Letting life breath me. This portal of healing was ignited, again, by attending your retreat. The brain detoxing retreat!” – Participant

There was something so powerful and transformative for me to do this work in the presence of two men that I trusted, that wanted nothing from me other than to mirror back to me the miracle of my own heart and the uniqueness of my journey, which would never look like anyone else’s. In their kindness and authenticity, I was able to relax, finally, to rest and explore and play and remember what was most important to me. They really are the dynamic duo!” – Participant

I was not aware of the deep shame that was affecting my life and especially my relationships until I spent this time working with Jeff and Matt. Shining a bright light into these shadowy parts of my experience and befriending it with a love and compassion I didn’t even know was available has changed everything for me. They are true lifesavers. Not gurus or experts or masters, but true friends, fellow travelers, and wayshowers. I’m so happy I met them.” – Participant

Matt has so much to offer the world. Jeff has so much to offer the world. And, together, their wisdom, humor and compassion is through the roof and through the heart! I was saturated with love at this retreat. It was wonderful and I am reconsidering what is possible..” – Participant

Thank you Jeff and Matt, you helped create a holding field of love and compassion that truly fostered powerful connections with deeper self and others. You are all Angels walking among us!” – Participant

Thank you Jeff, it was truly extraordinary, a life altering experience. What a joy and an honor to be a part of this retreat. I so appreciate how you & Matt skillfully pointed my attention in directions that expanded my consciousness and opened my heart.” – Participant

Fall in love with where you are.
Turn towards this – a sacred moment, unrepeatable.
Trust the ebb and flow of things.
Say “YES!” to uncertainty and the unresolvedness of your life.
Come out of stories and second-hand dreams
and remember the place where breathing happens.
Here and Now…”

– Jeff Foster

Frequently Asked Questions

Are the sessions live or prerecorded?

All of the video and audio content will be loaded for you into the private membership site for easy access at any time of day or night. The sessions each week are broadcast LIVE. 

What are the dates and times of the live sessions? Can I access a replay if I cannot attend a session live?

On the first 4 Thursdays of every month at 11am Pacific Time (USA / Los Angeles Time) there will be live sessions.  You will receive an email reminder before each live event. Within 24-48 hours of each live event, we will upload the recording to the membership site, so don’t worry if you can’t join us live! 

You can join us from ANYWHERE in the world! Check call times in your time zone using this handy tool:

Are there scholarships available for the course?

A limited number of scholarships may become available and you can request more information at

I signed up but did not get an email confirmation?

Please check your Spam/Junk/Promotions folder for an email that says ‘Welcome to Befriending Yourself.” If you still do not see it then please contact and submit a support ticket.

Will you be mailing anything to me or is everything digital?

Everything is digital and online, available to you to access via the membership site whenever you need it. 

How do I know if I am registered?

If your payment has gone through and you have received an email with your login details then you are registered! Please check your spam folder to locate the email that says ‘Welcome to Befriending Yourself’.

How do I ask questions of Jeff and Matt?

Inside the private membership site you will be able to submit questions to Jeff and Matt via a special form. They will address participants’ most commonly asked questions in their live broadcasts. They will choose questions that are most relevant for the whole group, and you can also ask questions during the live sessions.

How can I get technical support?

We are here to support you along the way with any questions you may have about purchasing and accessing the course. For support please email: Sometimes our emails might end up in your Junk/Spam/Promotions folder, so please do check there!

Join us inside Befriending  Yourself today!

Click a button below to go to a secure order page:







Save $50

***Please note that for the module on the Shadow (December through February), Jeff Foster will not be able to participate and the module will be led solely by Matt Licata***

Our Promise and 100% Guarantee

We have created this membership site to be of value and benefit for those interested in exploring teachings and practices on self-compassion, meditation, mindfulness, and self-acceptance. You can try it risk free for 30 days, so in those 30 days for any reason you are not satisfied or are unable to continue just send us a email and we will refund you. Thank you!

Matt and Jeff

(C) Jeff Foster and Matt Licata